


Hesitating

by neerapen



Series: The Pull [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Banter, Black Paladin Keith (Voltron), Caring, Fluff, Keith (Voltron) Feels, Keith (Voltron)-centric, M/M, POV Keith (Voltron), Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Post-Season/Series 03, Pre-Season/Series 04, Red Paladin Lance (Voltron), Self-Doubt, Supportive Lance (Voltron), Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 23:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13727847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neerapen/pseuds/neerapen
Summary: "Hey, man. Are you gonna stay there all night long, or are you coming back?"Keith stares at Black and sighs. Of course Black is blasting Lance's voice in the middle of a planet that looks deserted.or:Keith might be in too deep and Lance isn't making it any easier.





	Hesitating

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! This one was written back when s3 came out and for some reasons it sat on my drafts all this time. Pining Keith! Because I'm a fan of this trope, if you didn't notice already.
> 
> Thanks to iridania for being an awesome friend and super helpful beta!  
> If you spot any remaining mistakes, do not hesitate (hah) to point them out in the comments <3

What is stronger?

Hope, or desperation?

Keith looks at Black and can't stop the feeling that he should just accept what is happening to him, but there's still so much he can't accept. Shiro not being part of Voltron is one. It just feels wrong, somehow. Or just weird, and he's pushing his feelings into a situation that has nothing to do with Shiro.

The sky shines over him, stars decorating it with constellations he doesn't know and will never do. Nothing changes, and everything changes, and Keith doesn't know what is happening to him. Being a leader is not what he wants, but the lions think he can do it. Better than anyone, apparently.

He just feels lost.

It's like he went back on Earth, after the Garrison threw him out, and everything he has now is...

No, it's different. It's completely different.

"Hey, man. Are you gonna stay there all night long, or are you coming back?"

Keith stares at Black and sighs. Of course Black is blasting Lance's voice in the middle of a planet that looks deserted. It's not like Keith is there on a _stealth_ mission. _Yes_ , Kolivan confirmed that there's no one else on this outpost before going back with the other Blades, but _still_.

"Keeeith."

He's pretty sure that Black actually turned up the volume. God, this lion is bossy as much as _someone_.

"I'm coming, yeah," he begrudgingly answers, sure that Black will deliver the message.

"Good," Lance's voice murmurs from the communicator on his helmet. Keith stares at Black for a few more moments just because of that. "Not that I was worried, but it's been like three vargas. Hours. Whatever." Keith doesn't even fight the smile he's starting to make. "Just come back, the others went all to sleep."

"Okay," he deactivates his bayard and walks over Black, that is opening up for him already. "Why are you awake?"

"I'm on Keith duty."

Keith rolls his eyes at that. "I don't need a babysitter," he complains.

"You are pouting, aren't you?"

"Am not," except he is. He totally is.

Lance chuckles. Keith falls on Black's chair, relaxing.

"Black, please bring him back, I fear he's gonna fall asleep and crash you against an asteroid if you don't."

Keith straightens up immediately at that, looking at the open screen at his right. Lance is smirking at him, pajama and face mask on. "Gotcha, leader."

Keith snorts, starting up the engines. "I'm glad that babysitting me doesn't stop your beauty routine."

Black takes off and the noise almost covers the shriek from Lance. "I am intensifying it because of you, actually! You are giving me wrinkles, Keith. Wrinkles!"

"So young, already withering," Keith sighs, pinpointing the Castle's location and letting Black take over for a while. He relaxes against the pilot seat, closing his eyes: "Still nothing," he murmurs, reopening them on Lance.

Lance is looking at him in that way he does sometimes, with his head tilted, like he's trying to find something on Keith's face. Keith is almost tempted to ask him what it is. If it's something that he's willing to give, he would. Lance is becoming that kind of person. The one Keith wants to rely on.

"Just ask," he decides to say.

Lance huffs and smiles. "I don't need to, it's clear on your face."

"What is it?" Keith asks, hoping, for a second, that he doesn't have to hide it anymore.

"You aren't sleeping enough," Lance comments offhandedly, raising his hands on the screen to show he's putting on some kind of nail polish. Transparent nail polish. Keith can't help but smile at that.

"Where did you find that?"

Lance smirks at him: "Hurry up and I'll put it on your nails too."

"I'm not sure I need it."

"Oh trust me, you need it. I saw your hands. I know their pain. Let me spoil them a bit."

"Why don't you spoil Allura? She seems to like that kind of stuff."

"Taking care of herself? That's something everyone should do every now and then. Even you."

Keith shakes his head, taking a look at the situation outside. Black assures him that it's everything fine and he can keep talking with Lance.

"Keith."

Keith is almost tempted to remove his helmet, but he fights the need, turning to Lance: "I'm fine, really."

Lance doesn't answer.

Keith doesn't mind. He likes when they don't talk. Silence is okay now, it's not empty when Lance is looking at him. It gives him time to appreciate what they are becoming. It gives him time to look at Lance without being judged, because Lance is doing just the same.

Maybe not with the same meaning behind it, but Keith can deal with that.

For now.

Lance doesn't realize it, and this is a good thing.

Keith repeats this mantra in his head more and more, because giving himself completely to Lance would be a risk that he isn't ready to face yet. But the need is there, insistent like a headache that refuses to go away. Keith would like to clear things up, and at the same time he's glad he doesn't have to, too grateful to bask on this feeling that envelops them both in a softer world, made of comprehension and team work.

"Ooh, it's brooding time," Lance hums, propping his chin up with his knuckles.

"Shut up," Keith answers, looking away from the call screen and dodging a group of asteroids. "Think of your nails."

"My nails are coming out really nice, if I say so myself."

Keith snorts, because of course they are. "One day the universe will realize that you are _a fraud_."

Lance bristles on screen, shooting daggers with his eyes: "One day I'll make you realize that mullets are a horrible hairstyle and you'll _cry at your own stupidity_."

"Can't wait," Keith retorts, fighting to keep a smirk off his face. He likes their banter. So much it hurts.

"You'll see."

But what he likes more is when he is about to lose himself and Lance's voice grounds him. When he doesn't have to worry for himself in a fight, because Lance will be there.

Humming a song, Lance turns back to his skincare routine, like their discussion didn't faze him one bit. And Keith can't help but relax thanks to that, because it's telling in its own way. How Lance is starting to be always there. Always close, ready to raise him up, to make him smile, to make him understand that someone believes in him despite everything. Comfortable at Keith's side. Despite the fact that Lance knows, just _knows_ perfectly well how hotheaded Keith is, Lance still thinks he can be a good leader. He calls him that. He reaffirms it more than once, like he knows what Keith is thinking. It's not like with Shiro, far different from the trust that Shiro always gave him, like Keith couldn't possibly fail in his eyes. No, Lance is the complete opposite. Lance sees how much of a screw up Keith is, knows perfectly well that Keith isn't perfect and he doesn't ignore it. He points it out. And it doesn't hurt, not anymore, not when Keith feels lost and Lance is there to catch him, and then he pushes him to become a better version of himself.

Lance gets him and Keith... Keith doesn't have a lot of strength left to fight against his own heart. He wants to open up with Lance more, wants to see what Lance will do.

"Brooding, part two," Lance says and Keith snorts, maybe not happy, but definitely content.

"Shut your quiznack, Lance."

"I don't think you're using that word correctly, Keith," Lance teases. He's now doing something with a cream and he looks very focused, if it wasn't for the quirk on his lips, pulling his face mask in a way that makes him look far from beautiful.  

Keith shakes his head, unable to repress a chuckle: "So your memory is not _that_ bad."

"Look who's talking, Mr. Who-Are-You?-Oh-Wait-Maybe-I-Remember-You," Lance bites back, without malice.

Keith sighs, Castle finally in sight, and relaxes against the pilot seat. "I'm almost there," he informs Lance, and the other nods, reaching for something behind the camera.

"I know."

Keith raises his eyebrows, giving Lance his full attention while he goes through the process of landing inside Black's hangar, no need to focus much since he knows the procedure far too well. "Are you monitoring me?"

"Are you asking me if I have a baby monitor?" Lance winks at him. "You really don't want to know."

Keith shakes his head. "I hate you."

"Oh, Keithy boy, it's mutual and you know it," but Keith knows, oh, he knows far too well that it's a lie. He learned to read Lance, as much as Lance learned to read him.

"You coming?" Keith asks, Black shutting down around him, but still keeping the call going.

Lance scoffs, removing his mask with quick movements. "Of course, I've to make sure you actually go straight to bed. Come out of that lion, team leader," he says, winking before cutting the conversation.

It's strange, the way Keith feels himself being tugged out of Black. He goes down the ramp and the door at the other side of Black's hangar opens, Lance strolling towards him with a carefree smile on his face and perfect skin that looks like honey gold even in the low lights.

"Hey stranger, how was the super boring mission?" Lance asks in lieu of greeting, and Keith sighs, giving up when he realizes that the thing inside of him is pulling him toward Lance. Because of course it does. Why did he even think of fooling himself?

"Hey, you," he whispers, letting Lance throw an arm around his shoulder and direct him to their sleeping quarters. "It was fine, I guess."

"Missed me?"

"Maybe," he answers, gaining a pleased gasp and a squeeze of Lance's arm.

"He admits it!"

"Oh shut up."

Lance smiles at him and Keith smiles back, unable to do otherwise.

"I'm glad you didn't crash against a super secret base and blow up."

Keith rolls his eyes: "Seriously?"

Lance shrugs: "With you, everything is possible." 

Keith sighs, looking at the ceiling. Lance's arm is warm around him, reminding Keith that, no matter Lance's feelings for him, Lance would probably take care of _Keith's_ and _do_ something. Keith doesn't know _what_ , but Lance could find a way for them to work it out. Some way for Keith to feel safe enough to be who he is, no matter what role Lance will take by his side.

The more Keith thinks about it, the more he wants to just get over it and do it.

**Author's Note:**

> Just confess, you idiot, he's waiting!  
> JS.


End file.
